Posts Tagged ‘Walter Palmer’

Haiku, Killing For Fun, 53

November 11, 2015

http://www.valleynewslive.com/home/headlines/Hunter-says–You-need-a-fair-chase-and-they-are-just-restricting-that-345286602.html?device=phone&c=y

“Vy don cha see vat – cha kin do vid dis Vally – deal den, DNR?”

Haikus, Killing For Fun 47

October 6, 2015

“Hey Wally, do you – wear that man purse to haul your – ego around in?”

“Bow hunters are most – depraved; they like to watch slow – painful suffering”

Haiku, Killing For Fun

September 30, 2015

“Wally’s daughter’s old – thug South African husband – attacked Amy Waz”

“Blatant selective – enforcement; Carver County – makes all cops look bad”

“In Carver County – if you’re friends with the Sheriff – you can hit women”

“Deputies protect – perp, Sheriff’s ballroom dance pal, – after Waz assault”

“When you confront rich – perps on their home turf, expect – them to own the cops”

“Cops are predisposed – to favor local rich perps – over visitors”

“Defacing signs should – be protected speech when it’s – just telling the truth”

Haikus, Killing For Fun

September 27, 2015

“Hey Wally, how does – it feel when we’re the lions – and you’re the zebra?”

“Cops bust Garner and – Bland for petty crimes; Palmer – walks for felonies”

“Real hunters track their – prey; poachers bait their prey and – blind it with spotlights”

“Hunting teaches us – patience; poaching teaches us – to bribe, cheat and lie”

Haiku, Killing For Fun

September 25, 2015

“Lions are the real – hunters, Wally, not grinning, – greedy, rich dentists”

Haikus, Killing For Fun

September 25, 2015

“Hey Wally, did you – put extra large toilets in – your fancy houses?”

“Wally’s DNA is more – Neanderthal than – Homo sapiens”

“Grace Mugabe thinks – Wally Palmer is Tarzan’s – reincarnation”

“Each time my dog takes – a shit I am reminded – of Wally Palmer”

Haikus, Killing For Fun

September 24, 2015

“Real hunters kill to – fill their freezers with meat, not – their egos with teeth”

“Real hunters don’t use – inferior weapons to – take protected game”

“Wally’s angel: Dan – Ashe, trophy hunter who heads – Fish and Wildlife”

“Did grinning Wally – get his rocks off harvesting – Cecil’s regal teeth?”

Haikus, Killing For Fun

September 23, 2015

“To Wally’s patients – find yourselves a new dentist – this one’s going down”

“Wally flew a jet – through the Lacey Act; why won’t – the Feds bring charges?”

“You’re not a very – good hunter when you botch a – spot lighted kill shot”

“Does taking big game – compensate for having a – small penis and brain?”

Grinnie* the Poacher

September 12, 2015

(to the tune of Minnie the Moocher, a 1931 song by Cab Calloway & Irving Mills)

“Folks, here’s a story about Grinnie the Poacher
He was a lowdown cockaroacher
He thought he was as tough as nails
But he was really a coward as big as a whale

Chorus:
He tried to hidey hidey hi
But his Facebook jury wouldn’t let him alone
Hee dee hee dee hee dee hee
But his Facebook jury just wouldn’t let go

He messed around with a bloke named Theo
Who helped him kill a lion named Cecil
He took him down to Zimbabwetown
And showed him how to kick the game laws around

Chorus

He had a million dollars worth of nickles and dimes
That he used to bribe the guides who helped him with his crimes
He had a million dollars worth of trophy teeth and heads
He sat around and counted them until he was dead

Chorus

He encountered the Lord at the pearly gates
Who wasn’t very happy about Cecil’s fate
God said ‘Grinnie for your ruthless killing
In my inferno you’ll spend forever grilling’

Poor Grin, Poor Grin, Poor Grin”

*Grinnie refers to the grinning Minnesota dentist, Walter Palmer, who epitomizes white privilege and who illegally poached and killed Cecil the lion in Zimbabwe last July and then tried to cover up his crimes

Haikus, Killing For Fun

September 8, 2015

“May Palmer’s hell be – an eternal root canal – without novocaine”

“When you lure with bait – and blind with spotlights it’s not – sport; it’s sadism”

“Guide was bribed to keep – the collar moving so Walt – could flee the crime scene”

“Rich lion killing – dentist makes crime pay; Feds just – look the other way”